The Past Month

It has been quite a while since I have written anything. I guess this is because so much as been going on I don't even know where to start. I will try to explain what is new and elaborate on a few things.

1. I started radiation on November 9th and finished today (25 treatments in total, once a day)! My skin in the radiation area slowly went from pink, to red, to purple to a nasty shade of brown/grey. Slowly some skin has started to peel off and I've been told that it will be at its worst 7-10 days after treatment. While this isn't ideal to be feeling at my worst over the Christmas holidays, things could be a lot worse. While radiation is by no means fun, it is a walk in the park compared to chemo and surgery recovery. A couple weeks ago I was feeling a bit fatigued but this week really haven't felt much of that at all. Chemo check, surgery check, radiation CHECK!!!

2. I went back to work shortly after returning from Newfoundland. While it is still only two half days a week, it was still a fairly big step. At first I found it pretty tiring when I got home, but slowly it has become easier and I rarely take naps now. It was also a big step because I was going to tell the kids why I was away. Kids are amazing though, you tell them something very serious, they ask a few questions and then just as quickly they seem to move on. To be honest I found it more intimidating to be back with coworkers. Don't get me wrong they have all been amazing, but it is just different now, as hard as people try you do get treated differently and that is no ones fault, it is just the situation. I am hoping to increase to another day or two in the new year.

3. Christmas this year is going to be spent out west. Mom and Dad are flying out on Christmas Eve and we have rented a condo in Invermere for four days. I guess we decided that it might be a good idea to do something different this year. It has been a very abnormal year so I really didn't feel like doing the "normal" thing for the holidays. Sometimes it is also a bit awkward seeing people who haven't seen me in a long time. Everyone knows what has happened but sometimes it just feels like it is awkward for others to be around me. Maybe no one else notices this but again things just feel different. Again, this is no ones fault, it is just the situation. So for these reasons we have decided to do something different, just the four of us (Wes is off to Ottawa on the 23rd).

4. Follow up appointments are becoming the new norm. Every three months I go for scans and a check up appointment. My last appointment was on Tuesday and went pretty well. Basically it a game of wait and see now. A small spot can still be seen on my sternum, and as long as that is stable I am good. If it starts growing again, then it will be a worry. Nothing else can be seen anywhere else in my body, which is very good. This might be the hardest part of this disease, having to just wait and see what happens, hoping for the best, but never really knowing what is happening inside your body.