Get This Shit Out of Me!

So Friday is the big day. Perhaps this may sound a little strange but I really haven't given it too much thought. I realize that the time is coming very quickly where I am going to have to think about it. Tomorrow will be the day where I find out the time to be at the hospital and start getting ready some of the things I will need to take with me. When people ask me if I am mentally prepared for what is going to happen my response is that I know what is going to happen, but I don't think you can really do much preparation mentally beforehand. In my mind my breasts are such a small and insignificant part of my body and who I am, that I really don't think it will be a big deal. I am almost excited to get it over with and move on. Chemo...check, surgery...almost check, and then only radiation left. Don't get me wrong, I get that it will be hard, and I will probably feel pretty rotten for a few weeks, but am I going to be traumatized, no. Some people who are reading this might be surprised by how lightly I seem to be taking this, but I just want them gone! A cancer diagnosis very quickly makes you realize what is important in life, and boobs have very little importance....especially when life itself is what is being threatened.

On another note I just thought I would gush a little bit about how great Wes is still being. First he has to get used to kissing a girl who has no hair...and next it will be a girl with no boobs. Whenever I bring it up I tell him that I can understand that it will be an adjustment for him too he say "it won't make any difference". He is also saying that he wants to help change my dressings and can help with my drainage tubes...SEXY stuff! I know it might actually be difficult for him when the time comes but I truly believe that he will be okay with everything as the only thing he wants out of all this is ME and a HEALTHY ME. He is the least superficial person I know, so I think very early on I won't have a problem showing him my new flat and scarred up chest. Time will tell as it gets a little bit closer and after the big day. Will try to keep ya posted in the days to come.