Weekend Away

It was so nice to get out of the city. This was the first weekend I have been away since I became "sick". The May long weekend we tried to go away but after a bit of a panic attack we decided to turn around. This long weekend not only did we make it out of the city, but we had a great, relaxing time even with not so wonderful weather. We ended up about 45 minutes west of Fernie B.C, camping for two nights. Steve, Wes and I went and met up with a bunch of people Wes knows from Fernie. Food was great, got lots of sleep, and enjoyed the fresh air. While I never was able to forget about everything that is going on in my life, I feel like this weekend I had a sort of strange acceptance of it. I am sure that everyone who was camping with us knew what was going on, though it wasn't really talked about. I felt like I was for the first time able to be myself...but just a little bit of a different version. I could think about everything that had happened in the last 10 weeks, not get upset and almost feel like I could accept it. I was worried that coming back the city might make things harder...back to reality. So far, having been home for a couple of hours it hasn't been too bad, reality is sinking in a bit more, though it hasn't really upset me. I think one valuable lesson learned this weekend is the importance of still getting out and living. I can't let cancer stop me from doing all the things I really enjoy. I can't just tell myself that after I get better I will go back to being me....I can be me right now, just a slightly different version.