The Blahs

So it is the day after chemo #2. So far I am feeling pretty good. I ate yesterday around 3ish and have just had my first meal today at noon...some yogurt. It is amazing how my appetite just disappeared. For the last couple weeks I have been eating like crazy trying to gain some of that 10+ pounds I lost in the first week or so. I think I am now up almost 5 pounds which is a good start, but need to keep eating through this session so I don't lose it again.

I had a little bit of a mini breakdown last night. I had been doing so well and prior to yesterday's treatment had been feeling "normal" so it was easier to pretend and forget everything that was going on. Last night just the exhaustion started to hit and I briefly broke down after finishing watching a movie. I just sat and started to cry thinking about how much I wished things weren't like this....how much I wish this wasn't happening to me. After about 20 minutes of feeling sorry for myself I got a call from a coworker and this quickly snapped me out of my self pity :) After that I went to bed and got about 13 hours of good sleep! I didn't wake up until 11....I never do this!

So far I am just trying to fill my day. I have been responding to emails and guess I will go make lunch now. After that I am going to for a walk and then dinner out tonight with friends.