The Worst Part

So far I would have to say the physical side of having cancer and chemo has been a breeze. I feel no pain and the chemo side effects have been very minimal. I don't have a huge appetite and for a few days after chemo I don't have a lot of energy. The last couple days I have also started to get some heart burn which I've never had before, but nothing too serious. The only other physical side effect is the hair loss which just seems so insignificant when you think about the big picture. So by far the worst part is the emotional stuff. I don't think a minute goes by in the day where I am not thinking about it in some way. I am constantly worrying that this thing is spreading elsewhere in my body. Every tiny ache or cramp I get freaks me out, sends me into a panic. These pains are so minimal that previously I would have thought nothing of them, but now I am convincing myself that they have to do with the cancer. Maybe if I had had more physical pain this wouldn't be the case but I feel like I have no idea what is going on in my body. Since I feel so healthy but am apparently very far from that I feel like anything could be happening inside me and I would have no idea.